Why lie to your employees with pictures of soaring eagles and majestic mountains when you can gracefully crush their spirits with absolute transparency?
This premium six-piece collection is specifically engineered to align employee expectations with the cold, unfeeling machinery of late-stage capitalism. Hang them in the breakroom to ensure your human capital remains optimally compliant, adequately panicked and thoroughly aware of their place in the food chain.
- Loyalty: A charming reminder that HR will replace your desk chair before your body hits room temperature. It beautifully pairs the illusion of job security with the ultimate finality of a HR-approved exit strategy.
- Collaboration: The perfect graphic to cure the pesky disease known as “individuality.” It reminds your team that while they are completely useless on their own, they can at least achieve the status of collective garbage when grouped together.
- Optimization: A minimalist masterpiece dedicated to the glorious removal of safety margins. Perfect for teams who complain about burnout, it gently explains that rest is merely a glitch in the data code that leadership is actively debugging.
- Shareholder Value: A sentimental tribute to the beautiful transformation of your prime years into a third vacation home for a man you have never met. It is an art piece that screams, “We appreciate your sacrifices, mostly because we cannot remember your name.”
- Mental Health: The definitive statement on modern corporate wellness culture. It perfectly captures the soothing, therapeutic power of lukewarm cheese pizza and mandatory crying schedules to help manage total existential collapse.
- Vision: An inspiring look at executive leadership from a secure, tax-sheltered distance. It serves as a daily visual compass, guiding the ground floor straight into the gears of production while the C-suite bravely cheers them on from a beach.
Available as a single poster purchase or you may order all six. Whatever. We don’t care.
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